Let’s round out this Friday with some really stupid news, because why not?

Escape from Tarkov Annnounces $250 Edition In Act of Self-Harm

Escape from Tarkov developer Battlestation Games decided to commit self-immolation and announced an edition of Escape from Tarkov that costs $250. Now the $250 Unheard Edition isn’t really the issue, lots of games have those. But those usually are collectors editions with stuff like statues or concept art books. In fact there’s a really sick $350 edition of FF7 Remake that had Cloud Strife on the Hardy-Daytona motorcycle that in hindsight I wish I had and I’m getting off track.

The real issue with this Unheard Edition of Tarkov is that it gatekeeps content that you can only get in that edition. Like a PVE mode, a bigger stash, and the ability to be shot at by NPC’s less often. Given Tarkov is a hardcore looter-shooter not being shot at is a pretty big deal. So naturally this new edition is accused of being “pay-to-win” and I can’t say I blame the accusers. It’s gotten so bad that other games are flaming Tarkov’s devs about it and the Tarkov sub-reddit’s mods are siding with the haters.

Like I said, I can’t blame the haters for this, this is actually atrocious and even if Battlestation Games changed their minds the damage is done, this community will never trust the Tarkov devs again after this shit.

Nintendo Turns Into The Bene Gesserit

In a funnier story however, a third party accessory maker recently shared details about the Switch 2. Now some stuff was intriguing on it’s own, like the fact that Switch Pro Controllers will work on it. But what really caught my eye was the fact that developers were only allowed to feel the Switch 2 in a box.

Are you kidding? That’s literally straight out of Dune. I can only presume Miyamoto had a poison needle to the developers neck. Being just a little paranoid aren’t we?

Hades II is Moving Out of Technical Testing

Supergiant Games today has announced that Hades II will be wrapping up it’s technical test and moving into early access relatively soon. How soon? Your guess is a good as mine.

I loved the original Hades when I played it on Steam Deck, so I’ve been looking forward to Hades II. With that said I haven’t checked out the Technical Test for Hades II as I try not to spoil myself too much on games before they come out so I don’t know how people felt about the test. Maybe I’ll check out the early access version or maybe I’ll wait for the full game, only time and my mood will tell.

Before I go though, note to all game devs, please make sure your game doesn’t flashbang me when I beat a boss at 9PM in the dark of my living room. Mega Man 2 goddamn flashbanged me last night and my eyes still wince a bit.